I wrote this post a few years ago for a website called Autism Epicenter. In this season of thanksgiving, I thought it might be nice to repost. I hope you see it as an encouragement to persevere when times are tough– and to give thanks when thanks is due.
November 2010–We have been overwhelmingly blessed over the last year or two with reaping the rewards of excruciatingly hard work and perseverance over the previous years. Our daughter with autism is now 18 years old. I thought it might be nice to share some of those rewards with you because some are amazing considering where we started. Here are some of our beginnings, steps and rewards along the way:
1) Eight years ago we took Katie out of 5th grade to home school because the schoolwork and social pressure became too intense at that age. Katie yelled at me, her mom, for at least a few hours a day for the first year of home school. (It was a big change, there was a lot of healing that needed to take place, and I was a safe person). She healed and we made it. ( It almost killed me, but I am still here and smiling now). We did half-time home school for 5 years until she was ready to fully engage back in public school for grades 11 and 12.
Today, Katie is 18 and met with her college counselor to confirm which classes to enroll in for her second semester in college. She is independently passing or more than passing all of her classes.
2) Seven years ago we starting working with Katie to begin learning laundry folding. For 2 years after that time, she pitched a big fit every time we asked her and helped her fold laundry. We gritted our teeth and kept teaching.
This week Katie did her laundry all by herself, beginning to end, as she has been doing for at least 2 years with no prompting.
3) For years, from about age 10-16 , Katie had been a pretty good athlete, but was either bored playing with other disabled kids, or overwhelmed with the intensity of competition in non-disabled sports. It was a frustrating experience.
Last year, Katie had the time of her life playing basketball in Special Olympics. This organization has a great leveling system so people play with people of similar ability. We found a perfect fit!
4) From age 5- age 18, we took Katie to church camp every year. Each year that she went, we had to address behavior problems of one kind or another. My husband, Bryan, and I attended each year as staff, and I spent much of my time shadowing Katie from a distance to make sure she was getting along with others. It was exhausting. One year, I gave an autism education in-service to every girls’ cabin. Another year, we hired someone to help Katie negotiate social challenges, but Katie felt stalked and it was a bust. Yet another year, we had to take her home early due to a behavior outburst. Between camps, she often doubted her faith in God as she felt betrayed by him due to her autism. I cried over all of these situations. But we kept on taking her each year, because she loved it and it was good for her even if it was hard on us.
Two summers ago, Katie received a prestigious church camp award given to the camper who has been faced significant life challenges, but who has maintained courage, a positive outlook and a faith in God. This is a big honor and an answer to prayer.
There are many more milestones reached and successes for which to be thankful. Early on it was potty training, a reduction of echolalia, introduction of novel language, answering her name when called, participating in Kindergarten, and even watching Katie’s joy at opening Christmas presents when for a few early years the whole process just overwhelmed her.
Sometimes, there are seasons of life that we feel we will not survive. There were times during this season of life that I felt like I emotionally “gave up” for few days or even a week, and I expect many of you will feel the same. The important thing is that you get back up and try again. It was not easy, but God faithfully helped me regain strength and courage to work and hope again. Thankfulness helps quite a bit to help us renew the stamina to go forward. Today, take some time to be thankful for your child and the challenges you have mastered. What have you overcome? What has your child overcome? Please share some of these stories as a comment on this post