World Autism Awareness Day came around a few days ago, but we live this awareness at our house everyday.  Our world has been full of autism-related things for about 20 years– and more and more families are facing this reality everyday (1 out of every 68 children and families, in fact). For those of you who are raising or love a child with autism, I want to shout out a few bits of truth and encouragement about the big picture of autism in your life:

1.  Whatever specific autism challenges you are experiencing right now are likely to be different in another phase in your child’s life. You need this reminder because you probably feel like you will be in this phase forever.  You may feel that this potty training, communication challenge, behavioral issue, or sensory sensitivity will always be as intense a problem as is right now. I recall being stuck in the middle of one of these phases and feeling like it would never end. This just is not true. While some associated challenges might be similar, they will look and feel different at each stage.  Just the variety of the issues can actually prevent long-term stalemate that can lead to depression, anger or whatever particular predominant emotion you are experiencing.

2. For those issues that remain the same, you will be much better at understanding and handling them.  As long as you seek them, you will find and learn new techniques that may drastically change things.  Or you will use the same old techniques in a new way that make a difference. You will learn what is worth fighting for and what issues are not worth a big struggle in the long run.  You will improve your skill and  art in handling problems. You will become more patient and more wise.

3. As time passes, you will learn to focus on more of the strengths in your child. The ” autism awareness” will be more and more overshadowed by the “person awareness.” You will see that it is our strengths as people (no matter the abilities or disabilities) that move us forward in life. You will be able to take more joy in what your child does well and may notice more of  the enduring positive strengths, attitude etc. that make your child special.  For example, my daughter with autism has a naturally cheerful disposition (although it has been overridden by grief during some tough phases of her development).  She has a wonderful sense of humor and is a good athlete.  She has learned to help cheerfully in a number of situations, and is generally out-going and friendly. These are enduring qualities that were in existence since she was very young, but we sometimes overlooked them as we got caught in the business of therapies and accommodations for areas of weakness.

I hope at least one of these truths is of some help to you as you parent in the moment you  are living in right now.  It is important to regularly try to envision the forest of your and your child’s life as you work your way around each individual tree. Today try to spend some time celebrating the person your child is aside from the autism that affects him or her.