Hello again! As I mentioned in my first post– our family has a new puppy. Her name is Grace. A friend of mine met her and suggested we name her Bullet instead. You can get the visual on that. Now I’m thinking Sharka is a good name because she is teething like crazy and uses anything she can get her mouth on to help those teeth come through.
What does this have to do with parenting a child with social, emotional or behavioral challenges? First of all, this experience with a difficult but lovable creature has reminded me in a very tangible (ouch!) sort of way, about the experience of being a young mom with a difficult young child– maybe a child who bites, hits, or shoves others when you is not looking. It reminds me of having to be on the task of watching the child at all times to prevent a bad interaction from happening and to be able to catch positive interactions to reward. It also reminds me of how alone one can feel at home trying to train a young child without regular rewards given for good parenting.
My 19-year old daughter, Madeline, is really the parent of this puppy. Grace is my grandpuppy. Now I occasionally see Madeline looking for some way– any way– to get away from the house for a few minutes to escape puppy training. Oh, how I remember those days. As much as we love them, we need to get for regular breaks in our parenting! We must get away to keep our sanity.
More on living with land sharks later. For now, the message I want to leave you is that I understand what it is like to live with a child who sometimes physically hurts others– how tiring it can be– and how difficult it can be to remain positive and consistent. Please hang in there. I promise it will be worth it. You probably won’t have a land shark forever. Your child will grow into a new developmental stage and, to be honest, may develop different challenging behaviors. But this particular stage of your child at his/her age, with this specific behavior, will not last forever– it will pass. Just knowing this can sometimes be helpful.
Hebrews 10:35-36 says this:
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”
This passage was probably written to Jews who were undergoing great persecution for their faith, and dealing with a difficult child might seem a smaller trial in comparison. However, when God has put you in charge of something precious to Him– like your child–I can assure you that He wants you to persevere in parenting that child and that He will reward you for it. I always wanted to do my best in parenting so that I did not have regrets. That doesn’t mean I expected to perfectly parent in all situations. It meant that I did not want to look back and see myself as lazy, selfish, or putting out sub-optimal effort in my parenting. Just commit to this– in front of God– and ask Him for His strength and wisdom. He wants you to persevere and He will provide a way for you to do it.
Talk to you soon.
Karen
Thanks Mom:) You have taught me many times that “most things worth doing require hard work!”. Thanks for that advice as I have repeated it to myself many times as I faced challenges in life. Raising kids is hard work, but definitely worth the effort! I do hope my difficult days will help make other’s a bit more bearable.
I am so eager to see this book published (Persevering Parent) and read it in completely. So much love and hardship has gone into this and I am yearning to see it published so that I can share with friends and family. I am the mother of the author so I know firsthand what prompted my daughter to share her life raising children and the then encourage and share with families some coping skills. When you have experienced these difficult days you know how to reach out to others.