God's grace Archives -

Amazing Grace is one of my all-time favorite songs. Written by a former slave-trader who lived a less- than-stellar life before he met Christ, this usage defines grace as God’s eternal, life-saving, undeserved favor. The origins of grace in Latin are related to thankfulness—and in Greek, to rejoicing.

truth-and-grace

God is characterized by His grace. And he is thankful and rejoices over us when we recognize and accept his graciousness (Isaiah 62:5). In return, we are to be a thankful and rejoicing people (Isaiah 61:10).

Today I am that sort of person—thankful and rejoicing because of God’s grace. Just recently He handed me a week full of blessings for no particular reason as far as I know. I think He just loves me:).

But before I describe the blessings, I need to mention the contrast of the week before last. That week was characterized by fear.

I know fear. It is a gift (not!) I give to myself. Anxiety may be a better word for what I experience, but fear is the core emotion. This time it was brought on by the anticipation of an anniversary trip with my husband to the New England Coast. The trip itself was not the stressor. The stressor was preparing for the trip and feeling okay with leaving the kids at home. Special-needs moms know this stress well. Will the kids adjust? Will they behave? How will the caretakers handle a meltdown? Will they recognize critical signs or symptoms? What if the plane goes down or my husband or I don’t return from our trip? How will anyone else help my children when only I know what they really need?

Our kids are actually young adults now so they took care of themselves when we traveled this time. That in itself is a a measure of God’s amazing grace, although it also brings into play its own set of concerns. One of our children still can get seriously anxious and depressed when we leave—but nobody else would know because she’ll rarely share those feelings with others. The other child relies on us for complicated decision-making, and sometimes, for basic common sense. These kids are not ready to live on their own without their parents picking up and piecing together some missing links. This means I am still concerned about the plane going down.

I have one other fear related to travel. It’s almost too silly to mention, but I’ll do it anyway. I have a fear of bringing the wrong stuff on the trip. Trivial? Yes. Logically worth worry? No. But my brain obsesses about what to pack. It gets stuck on color, style, function and being prepared for potential inconveniences or discomforts. Unfortunately, I do this on most every trip and it always stresses me during the week before our departure.

The only good part of this repeating fear is that every time I travel, God relieves the anxiety. As soon as I get into the car or airplane, God seems to cover my journeys with undeserved favor and blessing. The preparation is done and I suddenly become aware that everybody and everything within my sphere of responsibility is under God’s control. This brings joy and relief. But aren’t those things under His control even when I am in my busy mode of preparation? Yes. Absolutely yes. But I see them more clearly when I physically drive away from my sphere of influence.

Maybe that’s why I noticed when God extended three particularly sweet gifts on this most recent trip.

While we were gone, a friendship was forged between our daughter, Madeline, and the acquaintance/friend she invited to keep her company while we were away. The willingness of this friend to spend the week with our daughter was a tremendous gift in the first place because Madeline has been without good friends since she developed chronic fatigue, followed by depression and anxiety, six years ago. This friend’s name is Grace. Yes, really. Her name is Grace.
The second gift was that, for the first time ever, we didn’t receive an anxious call from our daughter while we were away. Can I tell you how long we have waited for that moment? I’d say about 16 years.
As for me, I packed just the right attire. We had beautiful weather, two safe and easy airplane flights, and a great week of Fall color and sight-seeing.

AS SPECIAL-NEEDS PARENTS, WE FACE CHALLENGES THAT OTHERS MAY NOT, BUT THE CHALLENGES BRING OPPORTUNITIES TO SEE GOD’S GRACIOUS HANDIWORK (BIG AND SMALL) WHEN HE DECIDES TO EXTEND IT.

What big or small worries are defining your days right now? Is there relief in sight? It is easier to see God’s grace and provision when under a short-term stressor like travel, but I have been through stressors that lasted for YEARS without relief. I get it. Still, I’ll leave you with these thoughts:

Never give up hope that God will extend some undeserved favor toward you or your loved ones. If you tend to worry, take the next step and trust God anyway. You may or may not feel completely relaxed, but deep down, your heart will be at peace.

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Watch for it, because God (now or later) will show you His amazing grace.

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Be thankful, joyful, and tell the story of grace and your fears relieved.

While I was gardening recently, our dog raced by me in her typical Secretariat sort-of way. As the blades of grass bent in her wake, I smiled that we ended up with this amazing, energetic pup. Her name is Grace and she is the result of my daughter’s search for a “big mellow dog” to comfort her as she struggled with anxiety and depression as a teenager. Ha! Grace is a medium-sized, super-active lab/border collie mix who does not meet criteria as an ideal “therapy dog”. However, despite her father’s skepticism, Madeline heard God’s voice correctly that a dog would help her heal–and that this chocolate colored puppy was “the one”.

The “one” is happy, athletic, and needs an active job (preferably involving balls or swimming). The first six months with Grace almost overwhelmed our family. Madeline had puppy exhaustion on top of her chronic fatigue. As we stumbled through days with a brown puppy biting our heels and leaping over our furniture, we thought perhaps we had made a mistake. However, over the last two years Grace has miraculously shaped our daughter into a responsible, loving, disciplined and thoughtful young adult. Madeline has joined two dog clubs (dock jumping and fly ball) to fulfill Grace’s needs. No longer severely anxious or depressed, the process of loving her dog fiercely has guided our daughter into going places and doing things that seemed impossible during that season.

As Grace sped by me in the yard that day, her energy reminded me that God gave Madeline what she needed instead of what she wanted. Madeline wanted peace and comfort. God offered responsibility and sacrifice. Madeline wanted a cuddly pup. God gave her an intense, active one. Often that’s the way He works.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:31).

God often allows challenges in our lives because He intimately knows the benefits we reap through sacrificial love and responsibility. Out of His own fierce love, God took on the responsibility of the whole world and offered the sacrifice of His son for our benefit. He understands our parental pain because He has been through it. Think on the reality of that for a moment.

What grace (favor) has God bestowed on you—perhaps disguised in the form of your child with difficulties? If you are struggling with a particular difficult energy or trait of your child, I challenge you to look for God’s gift hidden beneath the trial. It often comes to us against a background of struggle, so at first glance we may not recognize it–but it’s there. God’s grace was in the challenges my children brought into my life (I have a daughter with autism, as well) but I couldn’t see it for a long time as the struggle clouded my vision. I wanted ease and satisfaction. God’s grace offered me challenge and humility.

Now I see that this “difficult grace” taught me to engage in the essential things of life (love and service) and leave some less important (career) goals behind. I also learned how much I need God on a day-to-day and moment-to-moment basis. Most of the self-sufficiency that previously blinded my view of God’s priorities were stamped out in those doctor’s offices, IEP meetings, home-schooling adventures and in the routines of daily life.

As you think about your life and situation, consider the following:

What situation or person in your life requires sacrifice?
What difficult responsibilities are strengthening you to fully trust God’s provision?
Whom do you love so fiercely that you would stretch beyond your comfort zone to meet his/her needs?

Who and what are these people and situations? They are God’s covert messengers, intended to bring good into your life. Be thankful for this amazing, difficult grace.

“Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved…” (John Newton, 1779)

God’s grace

…And Grace My Fears Relieved

AS SPECIAL-NEEDS PARENTS, WE FACE CHALLENGES THAT OTHERS MAY NOT, BUT THE CHALLENGES BRING OPPORTUNITIES TO SEE GOD’S GRACIOUS HANDIWORK (BIG AND SMALL) WHEN HE DECIDES TO EXTEND IT.

Depression, a Dog and a Difficult Grace